2 nights ago, my little boy said "Mama." I'm not sure if he knew what he said or even meant to look at me and say it, but I don't care. He said it! He can't take it back :) My dear husband told me later that the look on my face was priceless - utter joy and happiness - and of course that's what I felt. I also felt a tugging at my heart - this was one of many firsts that will happen in my little boy's life.
As I sat on the couch last night looking down at my little boy joyously playing with a toy, I started to think about how much he has changed since he was born. No more sleepless nights (thank you, Lord), no more 3 am feedings, no more teeny tiny clothes - there are a lot of no mores. I'm happy yet sad at the same time. His transformation is a wonderful experience, but I muse about how much has happened so quickly. It just seems like yesterday that I was sitting in the rocking chair at 2 am trying to get him back to sleep or walking endlessly through the house to calm him down from a crying spell. Now he's goes to sleep with ease and wakes happily the next morning. As he falls asleep clutching his blankie, I often stare at him just to see the little expressions change from moment to moment. He's so amazing and beautiful. I can't believe he's mine.
I bought this book at a book fair last week called "Let Me Hold You longer," by Karen Kingsbury. It chronicles the life of a mom whose little boy is growing up. I tried to read it and cried. I don't recommend this to any mom of a kid under 6 months, because it will all seem surreal. It's very emotional, but so lovingly told. She writes about how much her child has changed and the long list of "no mores" that come with a growing child. Here's an excerpt from the book. You'll see why it's a tough book for mommies to read, because it really hits home how quickly your life changes with your little one.
"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts. First smiles and, teeth, and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst. But one day you will move away and leave me in your past, and I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts....The last time I held a bottle to your baby lips. The last time I picked you up and held you to my hip. The last night you woke up crying needing to be walked. When last your crawled up with your blanket waiting to be rocked."
It's a wonderful story, but a total tear jerker to a newly evolved sappy mommie. I cherish the time that I have with my little one - even the temper tantrums, spit up, and not so fresh diapers. I know that I have a finite amount of time that he will let me pick him up and cuddle, so I do it as often as he'll let me.
As a new chapter in his life unfolds - the mobility chapter - I remember when my brother looked at him when he was about 3 weeks old and said, "when is he going to do something other than just sit there in the bouncy seat, he's like a little blob," and I silently chuckle to myself... OK Uncle Chris, here comes your nephew - hope you can keep up!
Here's a picture of the little man - he loves the bathtub (and the pool). He's pulling himself up and standing. Walking is right around the corner I think. He just wants to get going - hopefully I can catch him! :)