Monday, April 20, 2009

Parenting 101

So many of my friends without children or newly pregnant often ask how to prepare for having children. My honest answer is - you can't, just take it as it comes. I don't think you can truly be prepared for having a kid until you actually have one and experience the ups and downs. So as I was reading from one of my favorite kid/parent blogs, I came across this and I laughed out loud. It's training exercises for preparing for kids.

Here’s a few suggested training exercises:

1)Wake up at 3:26 am for 5 nights in a row to break down, clean and reassemble an M-16. Your baby will demand that level of alertness and precision at your deepest sleep moments. You don’t want to get sloppy changing a diaper.

2)The next 5 times your friends call you to go out, politely refuse. And spend the rest of the evening watching Bob the Builder.

3)Drop random foodstuffs and clean them up, while dressed in your best clothes.

4)Only dine in restaurants that have kid’s menus. Learn to love mac n cheese, or start being OK with discarding a $6 entree after only $0.22 worth of it has been consumed.

5)Scatter hard plastic toy parts across your floor, remove your shoes, turn out the lights and walk on them.

6)Sniff random things. Your ability to discern, and stomach to withstand, urinary/fecal matter, spoiled food and hazardous chemical substances will be pivotal later in life.

2 years into this parenting thing and I am still amazed by the things I have experienced as a parent. It's definitely worth it, but boy it's still sometimes a shock to the system. :)


Serafina said...

How True!

Gopher MPH said...

And, here you never thought you'd be buying peas in the 4-pound bag ...

... never realized just how intellectually stimulating it is to discuss the socio-political implications of toenail clippings, after only talking to a 2 year old all day. In other words, having any conversation with sentences composed of more than 3 words of more than 3 syllables becomes the intellectual highlight of your day.